''Self-love describes something beautiful: accept yourself in all of your glory. Have compassion and empathy. Be able to forgive yourself and love yourself. Just because of who you are.

The same goes for body positivity: all bodies are beautiful. But as I write this, I can hear my internal critic saying: “as long as it is a healthy body.” And maybe there is some value judgement in there, but to me it is an important value. And a healthy body isn’t defined by a low fat percentage, but by having a healthy body.

Is it an unrealistic idea to never doubt your own body? Is it an illusion to always be proud of your body, of who you are? I sure hope it isn’t, but maybe we should accept that it is okay to be insecure every once in a while. You’re allowed to feel bummed about your thighs, your silly feet, or your flat buttocks, as long as you realize that these things don’t define you as a person.

However, try to find a healthy balance in which you find your strength more often than you belittle yourself. Because you are just perfectly fine in all of your glory.

As an extension of more attention to your body, there is of course the ultimate form of self-love: solo sex. Especially when you go for a meditative masturbation session you will notice that masturbating brings you closer to yourself. In addition, mindful fingering makes your orgasms a lot more powerful.

Ready for intense solo sex? Where do you connect more deeply with yourself? First take good care of yourself and your environment. Put down some scented candles, let sensual music fill the room and curl up on soft pillows. And don't forget the exciting toys. With the right sex toy, you'll fumble yourself to Nirvana!''

- Drs. Nynke Nijman
Sexologist